Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I Should Pray More

As I'm trying to get some rest, I'm watching Mark Driscoll (www.marshillchurch.org) preach his first message on a series called "Pray like Jesus." Nothing profound really (for Driscoll anyway), but I'm just reminded how weak and needy I am of Jesus, and how most times my prayers are just religious statements that are about an inch deep.

"God bless this food..."
"Lord use us for Your glory and not ours'."
"Though we are wicked God, help us to worship You tonight in spirit and in truth."

Though these prayers aren't heretical, they become redundant (maybe even worthless) after too much usage. I mean think about it. Am I really speaking from my heart prayers to God after saying the same thing to Him 537 times with little detail to distinguish any differences from those 537 prayers? Not likely.

So if I am to pray without ceasing, I desperately need to believe and say in my heart what I say I believe to the rest of the world: that I am nothing without God, that I am worthless apart from His grace in my life, that I need God for each and every breath because my wicked heart is prone to screw pretty much everything up, and that the only thing that is beautiful in me is Jesus. If my pride wins, my prayers lose. Just because people believe I'm spiritual doesn't mean I am. But if it must be known, I whole-heartedly wanna be. I want to be passionately in love with God so that I can passionately love my wife and my family and my church. Since I am passionately loved by God, I ought to be conversing more with Him than I do with my dog, Belle. But I don't, and though it's kind of funny for me to think of it that way, it's sadly true. So I guess I should start now...

God, I suck. And You obviously know that. But I know that You have done something in my heart that changes everything about me, and I can't even figure it out. Help me yearn for You. Give me the love of Your Word that faded with my pathetic arrogance of the Scriptures, like I have anything figured out yet. Oh God, help me be a Godly husband to my absolutely gorgeous bride. I want to love her as Christ has loved His baby, us. If I can't lead my household, I can't do anything good. Don't let me keep screwing things up with my quiet times. Though they exist at times, they have pretty much sucked for some time now. I desperately want that to change. God, You know I need sleep, so I am shutting up for now, so please give me rest to be able to bring Your name and Your kingdom glory tomorrow. You are incredible. Thank You for loving me. Be with my bride as she is at cheer camp this week. Oh and Holly too, even though she gets to be with Malerie. :-) I pray for my church as well as the church planters across this globe getting to live my dream. I pray for Your missionaries here in our Jerusalem and throughout the ends of the earth that are proclaiming Your gospel. I pray for peace God, though countries and politicians and I don't always want it enough, I know I've been called to be like Christ, and Christ is love. Thanks for my newest obsession with the word and idea of LOVE, pretty much sparked after seeing the greatest show of all time, the Beatles LOVE show in Vegas, which reminds me to thank You for the greatest vacation of my life. God I love you. A lot. Goodnight Dad.

*Though I usually edit, forgive me for mistakes in that cause I think editing a prayer seems like a stupid idea. 

I really am going to sleep now. 
This is long post for my first return to the blogging world.

1 comment:

keith said...

welcome back
i see you guys will be close by in August.
Why don't you stay over and worship with us on that Sunday?