Sometimes I want to go insane, or maybe, I'm actually just gradually getting there without trying. Either way, when things don't go the way that Kevin wants them, he becomes an idiot. I preach my heart out about how God is sovereign over all things, but then I get really mad when in God's sovereignty, I don't get what I want. How do I deal with this problem?
I do believe that God has orchestrated everything in all of creation. I am living a life I never dreamed of, and a life that I've never wanted. There are days, like today, that I want to get out. Wait. Not out of life in general, but just what I'm doing in life... I want to be done. But here's the tough part. Why has God put me here? Why would He do all that has taken place, and have me just end it now? It doesn't make sense. And so... the confusion continues in my life.
Pray for me please. I don't like not being home, and I'm away quite a bit. I'm praying that God will get me there more so that these thoughts will just go away.
Goodnight.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Back to work and life
I've been on vacation. It was, so wonderful. A week of not thinking about life, pretty much. Mal and I headed down to Seagrove Beach, Florida. Beautiful time together, just hanging out. So while that went on, I shut all technical life down for the most part - email, cell phone, and yeah, this fun blog.
Upon false accusation, I just want to be clear that I'm hoping to keep this new blog thing going for a bit. My life is getting scheduled pretty hectic right now, but this neat project is somewhat of an oasis for me, so I'm hoping it will stick.
God's been gracious to my family. We're trying to get innovative in the ways to grow spiritually (of course, by God's grace). Don't really want to go into detail, but just want to praise God for the ideas He has given us.
Speaking of ideas, the songwriting itch is back. I've got quite a few lyrical ideas sloshing around in this little noggin. Add in your thoughts and ideas (royalty free of course, hehe) as you wish. I will leave you with a few thoughts, not lines, that I'm chewing on right now...
depravity in me and grace from God
the largeness of the love of God for His children
the providence of God to use sinners for his glory
That's all for now. Peace and love.
Upon false accusation, I just want to be clear that I'm hoping to keep this new blog thing going for a bit. My life is getting scheduled pretty hectic right now, but this neat project is somewhat of an oasis for me, so I'm hoping it will stick.
God's been gracious to my family. We're trying to get innovative in the ways to grow spiritually (of course, by God's grace). Don't really want to go into detail, but just want to praise God for the ideas He has given us.
Speaking of ideas, the songwriting itch is back. I've got quite a few lyrical ideas sloshing around in this little noggin. Add in your thoughts and ideas (royalty free of course, hehe) as you wish. I will leave you with a few thoughts, not lines, that I'm chewing on right now...
depravity in me and grace from God
the largeness of the love of God for His children
the providence of God to use sinners for his glory
That's all for now. Peace and love.
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